I can’t write long because I’m in a great hurry.  I started reading Good Omens and it is hilariously written.  I am loving it.  Thank you, Mr. Jeezusgut.

It’s cold weather (perfect for reading) and deer season here. My stepdad just got a deer this morning. In fact, he called to ask me to come over to help clean it. I was like, “Sure thing, boss man.” Hung up and I’m still planted here. I guess after I finish this I’ll get dressed and go help. It’s not my favorite thing.

I’ve been doing good. One of my nutrition nut friends recommended some B12 mouth spray from her favorite Dr. Mercola (she was like, “You haven’t heard of Dr. Mercola?!?!”) and I gotta say, it has given me a little bit of an energy boost.

Everyday, I’ve been getting in my walk and putting a smiley face sticker on the calendar. This past week I went back to Weight Watchers. I know how to lose weight and all the principles. It’s not rocket science, right? Move your ass and cut out the junk. ooookkkkkkkkk. Well, I needed the extra help this go around.

So, every Thursday evening, you’ll find me at this small town’s Chamber of Commerce publicly weighing myself and sitting around with a bunch of really fat people talking about how we lost our 1 pound this week. At my first meeting, I wanted to punch this woman in the face. She brought pumpkin muffins and starting being forceful about people taking one. I stood my ground and had to tell the old bitty several times to elf off (in a polite way, of course).

Who brings baked goods to a Weight Watchers meeting and doesn’t even bother to calculate the points? One woman whispered, “I really don’t want this but I don’t want to hurt her feelings.” And, I said, “Lady, she’s a food pusher. I got no sympathy for that kind of person.” I am determined to get down to my fighting weight and turn this group around. It’s the same group that was there in February shortly before I quit and I promise they look the same as when I left them 6 months ago. So, I’ll be surprised if I get any help or inspiration from this bunch.

The apartment gets more and more fabulous. On the inside. Other than my apartment in Fort Myers Florida, this has to be the nicest apartment I’ve had. Go figure subsidized housing. On the outside, it’s just a bunch of degenerates. They ask for rides. They ask for money. They are rude. I’ve contemplated putting up a DO NOT DISTURB sign. But, instead I took down my door wreath so I can see out the door clearly and I will not be opening my door to just anybody. Hopefully, the loser zombies will get the hint. Now, it’s not all bad. I do have a couple very charming ladies that I’ve grown attached. Ms. Betty, Ms. Sara and Ms. Josephine. All about 80 years old. And, just the cutest group. They sit on each other’s porches smoking away talking about crochet and working at the telephone company. I’ve become an honorary member.

Yesterday, we loaded up their canes and walking buggies and went yard sailing. And, I loved it! I love a good yard sale day. I ended up getting some high end ramekins (little baking dishes) for a $.25 the whole set. A brand new three hole punch for $.50 (still in the box). And, a couple of very cute plus size outfits for $.25 a piece.

To top it off, we each got a pair of brand new leg warmers so we’ll be a bunch of matching “Flash Dance” Twinkies. They bought a bunch of knick knacks. I know from my own grandmother that old ladies love some what-nots.

My doggy is perfectly charming and doing well. She has developed a nasty habit of taking my clothes out of the hamper and shredding them. She does this when I am away so she has some time for the illegal operation. That’s in addition to her love of trash can knocking. I came home one day to colorful stripes of cloth mixed in with trash all over the apartment. I was shocked and so mad. Now, if I want to keep my clothes I have to make sure everything is in the closet with the door shut. Trash cans are all locked up as well. Pets are so crazy!

Well, I’m back to Good Omens . . . Peace

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