Walk first, then run

Deep apartment cleaning scheduled for Wednesday, Thursday at the latest. If I had the money, I would hire a cleaning lady. It’s amazing how fast things go downhill.  Right now, I have a maze of papers, boxes, cardigans, and shoes weaving through the apartment. The kitchen looks like dirty dishes exploded and are multiplying rapidly.  The place smells like old Chinese. But, it’s just me and I am not expecting any visitors.  It’s easy to let things go.

Even when I was my manic self, I wasn’t much of a housekeeper. I’ve always been a slob.  There are so many better things to do than clean.  Like read.  Even knit. Watch television. Go for a walk. Now, that I think about it that is usually what I do.  Just say away from the mess. I used to go walking or for a run. I’d go anywhere to avoid cleaning.  That’s right. Cleaning is low on my list.  Weirdly enough, I will let it get so bad that I enjoy putting on some rubber gloves, loading up trash bags, and spraying the whole place down with cleaning chemicals.  Then, start all over with messing it up.  Don’t get me started on laundry. I will go buy new clothes not to have to do laundry.  It’s bad. My apartment has a once a month inspection where they check the fire extinguisher, fix things, etc.  You can guarantee the day before I’ll be busting hump to cover up my piggy-ness.

In other news, I’ve walked four (4) days in a row! I am now up to 2 miles and it feels good. I missed putting on my tunes and hitting the pavement. I’d love to run but I’m too big for that but the walking has done me good already. Yesterday, just walking the two miles had me huffing and puffing with my face all red.

I am still watching my diet but then I did have Chinese last night. I love love Chinese food and this little redneck town has the best fast food Chinese takeout joint I’ve encountered yet . I’ve recognized that I will have to stay away. I still have some leftover Nutrisystem dinners and a new month’s supply of lunches and snacks. Then, I am done with that.  I can’t see myself going on it again.  Too processed.  It upsets my digestion.  Really bad.  It’s just not natural.

I see my psychiatrist in a little less than a month and I’m going to tell him I want to keep things like this for a bit. It’s not perfect but what I want doesn’t exist.  I want my manic state back without turning into a psycho.  These medications I am on now just keep me so down.  Not depressed but numb.  I feel like I am living in a fog.  I have to force myself to do every little thing.  I have no energy but I recognize part of it is being obese.  I’ve just been half ass’ing it but I am starting to get a little jazzed up about conquering this weight and then see where I am at energy and attitude wise.  If I get back into running, I know I’ll feel better.  If I am my normal weight, I know I’ll feel better.  So, we’ll just have to see.  I just can’t honestly look my doctors in the eye and tell them I’ve done everything I can for my health and then expect them to cure everything. It’s just not right. There is so much that I could be doing to reclaim my life.

First, I have to continue my walking every day or do an exercise video if weather not permitting the walk. I have them but I have never actually done one. Second, drink my water. The least I can do is flush out some toxins.  Third, eat whole nutritious foods.  Get rid of the junk.  I’ll probably go back to Weight Watchers. It really is a good program.  I am always stunned when I figure out the points I get and the points my foods are.  No wonder I am fat! It really is an eye opener. In fact, I am going to join right now and get to counting.

By the way, this article inspired me to start walking.

Google “My Fitspiration is family”

It’s an article from the Health website called “Weight Loss Before-And-After: “My Fitspiration is family”

One of my doctors told me to join Weight Watchers and this girl lost her weight with it as well.  Everywhere I turn, there are signs to WW.  But, I especially like this article because she became a runner and her power ballad is “Defying Gravity” from  Wicked.

It reminds me of myself.  When I first started running,  I couldn’t believe how far I could go. Then, I ran a marathon.  I want to get back to that girl so I framed a picture of my marathon finish and put by my bed.

That’s me!

Marathon

If I did it once, I can do it again.