The Quiet Woman

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I still read Jesus Calling every day. I have my Jesus time in the morning where I read Sarah Young books and the Bible. I enjoy it. It gives me peace and hope.

I am still thinking about one particular chapter from the September 19 Jesus Calling.

“There is a mighty battle going on for control of your mind. Heaven and earth intersect in your mind; the tugs of both spheres influence your thinking. I created you with the capacity to experience foretastes of heaven.  When you shut out the world and focus on My Presence, you can enjoy sitting with Me in heavenly realms.  This is an incredible privilege reserved for precious ones who belong to Me and seek My Face.  Your greatest strength is your desire to spend time communing with me.  As you concentrate on Me, My Spirit fills your mind with Life and Peace.”

I’m not as close to God as I should be. I don’t meditate. I haven’t spent much time communing with God. In fact, my Jesus time in the morning is all I do right now.  I tend to only pray in crisis.  However, lately, I have thanked God for my blessings and asked that he please not give me anything bad right now. I just need a moment to enjoy the stillness.

This chapter spoke to me because when I had my life, I was always running around. It was a great battle. I had a million things going on.  I stopped taking care of myself.  I stopped doing the little things that I enjoyed.

I gave up one of my greatest gifts.  That was spending time alone with my thoughts. With myself.  In total silence. No television. No Pandora. Just the hum of the air conditioner and the chirping of birds outside.

Instead, I jumped out of bed in the morning, got ready, raced to work, spent 8+ hours with people that just verbally and mentally pecking the life out of you, went to the gym, fixed dinner, and went to sleep. Repeat the next day.

What I needed was total stillness. A break from the insanity.

With a notepad next to me.

My place for this is my bedroom. It’s uncluttered. It’s dark. I lay on my comfortable bed. It’s soft and warm.

This is my quiet and happy sanctuary. A place I can block out from the rest of the world. I’ve always been this way. A lover of my bedroom.  I could stay there and not come out until someone began to worry.

I just lay there.

I just let my thoughts run.

Freely. Whatever. It doesn’t matter what I think.  Sometimes, it’s nothing. I might fall asleep.  Other times, I am processing.

It might be something worth writing in this blog.

Or, it might just be my to do list:

  •                 Clean the kitchen
  •                 Clean the frig
  •                 Take out the trash
  •                 Check the mail

I wish I could say this has helped me keep my sanity but it hasn’t. Only medication has done that. But, it might just work for someone less screwed up than me. For me, it’s just something I enjoy and I think it helps me not go off on people. It just gives me a more serene disposition. Of course, the Demons are still there.  It’s just that they get put in the notebook and aren’t running wild in my head and oops, getting loose.

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