I don’t know what to say. I’m still failing. I haven’t conquered my depression. I haven’t conquered my weight. I have no goals for the present or future. My life is operating on very tiny baby steps.
My mom keeps telling me to take it one day at a time. And, I do. I have to.
One day, I am good. I go shopping. I might wander around the internet. I connect with old friends.
Another day, I have a hard time getting out of bed. I literally could sleep all day. Here lately, I’ve been living on coffee and Redbull just so I’m not a complete slug.
On these days, it’s enough to drag myself out of bed in the morning. To brush my teeth. If I make my bed and tidy up my room, I feel fortunate.
I just cleaned my bathroom the other day because it was starting to look pretty ghastly.
As bad as it sounds, I have to make a sign to put in my bathroom for my nightly routine that says:
• Take Medication
• Brush Teeth
• Wash Face
• Night cream
I have to force myself to complete the tasks.
If I can get my daily maintenance plan done in the morning, it’s a good day:
• Get out of bed
• Let Ginger Out
• Brush Teeth
• Weigh Self
• Get Coffee
• Take Fish Oil and Multivitamin
• Make Bed
• Enjoy Coffee
Today, might not be one of those overachieving days.
I recently read a couple of articles about depression.
They really helped. First, they acknowledged that a depressed person is feeling really really low.
Motivation is almost none.
They advise to take it easy on myself and to take it slow.
Depression is so horrible. I can’t decide if I prefer the psychotic manic state. At least then I have some energy.
Anyway, that’s me. The Turtle.
Who did win the race, I might add but it was pretty dicey in the beginning.