A day in the life of an emotional eater: The struggle is real

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They say admitting your problem is the first step so I have to admit I have an unhealthy love affair with food. Instead of food being my nurishment, over time it became my friend when im bored; my comfort when im stressed or sad, and my relief when im anxious or nervous. All moods were celebrated with bites of something decadant and savory.

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Over time I’ve noticed what an unhealthy habbit I have created and it is a hard habit to break; hard as hell! I’ve tried to eat clean, practice portion size, and substitute the bad with good…….

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…. but I fail miserably. Nothing stays consistent. The good thing is every time I fail I learn more about new alternatives and helpful hints. Some things stick and some dont. Sometimes I may find myself in a bind and revert backwards, but I know I am human and breaking bad…

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Coffee & Redbull To The Rescue

I don’t know what to say. I’m still failing. I haven’t conquered my depression. I haven’t conquered my weight. I have no goals for the present or future. My life is operating on very tiny baby steps.

My mom keeps telling me to take it one day at a time. And, I do. I have to.

One day, I am good. I go shopping. I might wander around the internet. I connect with old friends.

Another day, I have a hard time getting out of bed. I literally could sleep all day. Here lately, I’ve been living on coffee and Redbull just so I’m not a complete slug.

On these days, it’s enough to drag myself out of bed in the morning. To brush my teeth. If I make my bed and tidy up my room, I feel fortunate.

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I just cleaned my bathroom the other day because it was starting to look pretty ghastly.

As bad as it sounds, I have to make a sign to put in my bathroom for my nightly routine that says:

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• Take Medication
• Brush Teeth
• Floss
• Mouthwash
• Wash Face
• Night cream

I have to force myself to complete the tasks.

If I can get my daily maintenance plan done in the morning, it’s a good day:

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• Get out of bed
• Let Ginger Out
• Brush Teeth
• Weigh Self
• Get Coffee
• Take Fish Oil and Multivitamin
• Make Bed
• Enjoy Coffee
• Jesus
• Blog
• Bath
• Contacts
• Moisturizer
• Hair
• Make-up
• Deodorant
• Dress/Perfume
• Jewelry
• Breakfast
• Chores

Today, might not be one of those overachieving days.

I recently read a couple of articles about depression.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13042/6-tips-to-get-motivated-when-youre-feeling-depressed.html

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-motivation-tips-when-youre-depressed/

They really helped. First, they acknowledged that a depressed person is feeling really really low.

Motivation is almost none.

They advise to take it easy on myself and to take it slow.

Depression is so horrible. I can’t decide if I prefer the psychotic manic state. At least then I have some energy.

Anyway, that’s me. The Turtle.

Who did win the race, I might add but it was pretty dicey in the beginning.